How do you feel about yourself? What purpose do you serve? Why do you even exist? Do you actually have a purpose or are you just hanging around to see what happens next? Who or what are you trying to impress, or do you even care? Again, we are faced with a series of simple questions that most men will not be able to answer. Galatians 1:10 states, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of God.” Every man that can tell you their purpose without much thought will always be at peace with themselves and others. Those men that have not found their purpose or did not realize they were supposed to have a purpose always seem to be lost or constantly looking for something, wandering through life with no goals. They say you don’t know what you don’t know. If we think about it for a moment most men have had times in their lives that they did not seem grounded, acted out of impulse, made poor choices, and just could not find happiness. We know that God has a plan for each and every one of us and that it is our responsibility to find our purpose or accept spending time lost. Some men mature or grow up quicker than others but to reach the goal of being the “Man” we want to be, we need to find a purpose that satisfies this need. Romans 8:28 states, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” There are many Bible verses and even more quotes that re-enforce this need for a purpose. Thomas Carlyle is credited as saying, “The man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder—waif, a nothing, a no man. Have a purpose in life, and, having it, throw such strength of mind and muscle into your work as God has given you.” So, with this in mind can you tell someone what purpose you serve. Let me offer a clue. If you believe your career is your purpose you are either wrong or at best only partially correct. Police officers, firemen, doctors, mechanics, and many other professions are worthy professions and serve a great commitment to society. But we have to look at the individual’s motive and the reasons why these individuals choose their profession and what results from their efforts. We could have a very good mechanic that works on cars every day but his or her true purpose and passion is helping poverty-stricken children. “When your identity is dependent solely on the job, you’re conditioned to feel as good or as bad as your latest performance, your worth hanging in the balance with every task or jitter-inducing free moment. Having to remanufacture your worth every day is exhausting, and it crowds out the parts of life needed to bolster your real identity.” (Robinson, 2012) Some folks will go through life and never think about or find their purpose being too busy living in the moment. These folks may think they know their condition but in reality, they are lost.
We each want to serve and to truly fulfill our purpose, but many are confused or deny the need for a purpose. Many times, our ego and arrogance get in the way of making good decisions. Finding our purpose should come naturally to us. This resistance causes us to fight a battle that is not necessary if we would follow God’s direction and give it to him to fulfill. We being men always try to make more out of a problem than is required. “It is not about you. The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your wildest dreams and ambitions. If you want to know why you were placed on this planet, you must begin with God. You were born by his purpose and for his purpose. (Warren, 2002)We have to accept that God has a plan for us and that His plan will always work and be better than anything we “Men” will create.
For a man to be a “Man” he must build a healthy self-image and have positive self-esteem. Self-image is how a person thinks other people view them and self-esteem is how a person views themselves. Having a high opinion of yourself or having a manufactured self-image does not mean that everyone else has the same opinion. Being happy is a short-lived experience unless it can be truthful and maintained through a sense of contentment, fulfillment, and a feeling of worth. This healthy self-image can be somewhat different between one person and another but it always comes back to certain needs that we all share. Everyone wants people to appreciate their efforts, and to be considered a knowledgeable and worthwhile person. This need is satisfied by receiving recognition for your actions, appreciation for your works, and peers complimenting your performance. Everyone wants to be needed by their families, that their love is appreciated, and their hard work to take care of loved ones is met with love and admiration. This need may continue past the immediate family with most people needing to know that their friends and co-workers appreciate and care for them too. Everyone wants to feel that their life is important and their efforts are noteworthy and will be remembered as being worthwhile. Everyone wants a legacy that they can be proud of. Positive or negative self-image and strong self-esteem or lack of self-esteem determine a man’s attitude, his character, his integrity, and usually his position within the family and the community. How you feel about yourself and how you think others feel about you is very important and affects everything you do. Ironically, this is a hard question that has a simple answer compared to the earlier questions. A person can change their attitude toward themselves by making a few changes in how they treat themselves, the respect they have for themselves, and how they conduct themselves toward others. If a person starts acting positively and doing positive things, their self-image will start to improve. The blessing with this simple answer to self-image is that it has a direct effect on self-esteem. When a person feels good toward themselves it magically makes people’s feelings toward them better which improves self-esteem. When a person starts to work on a better self-image their character and integrity will also follow and become more positive. Integrity simply is how a person conducts themselves when no one is looking, doing the right thing for the purpose of doing the right thing. We know when we short cut something and act in a less than honorable way regardless of who else knows. Having a higher level of integrity can not help but better the self-image and a person’s character. “How we interact with others has a major impact on all aspects of our being. Our being is essentially our character or the real person we are’” (Statum, 2015) Character is what others think about your knowledge and ability to do the right thing. Again, these attributes are all related, and when a person’s integrity improves their self-image will improve, which will cause their integrity to rise which will cause everyone around them to have a better opinion of their character.