Often, we as humans’ mistake circumstances and events as being some type of rejection or negative behavior because of our emotions and attitudes. Emotions and attitude cause people a lot of grief and heartache that could be avoided with just a little forethought. Just recently I had a student come to me stating that she was going to quit her new job because the manager was mean to her. This student has gone through a long and drawn out procedure to get hired and just survived a long training academy to achieve her new position. Once we talked about her situation we discovered that management was giving her an opportunity to learn and possibly advance in rank when promotions became available. If she would accept the added pressure and still perform she would be in a better position later. In a different situation, a group was told that they were no longer wanted as a part of a larger assembly. Each person in this group felt betrayed and rejected and after learning the circumstances their emotions and attitudes were without doubt correct. This created a situation where the group could except being scorned and belittled or they could find a way to grow from this dreadful situation. After hours of conversation, the group decided rather than accept their plight they would create a new organization that would not depend on the original for their existence.
This is two examples of how with effort an unpleasant situation can be controlled and made better. But what happens if the situation continues to deteriorate. Sometimes things just don’t work out the way we would like. Circumstance we cannot control (snow storm), uncooperative customer, ill-informed co-worker, health and financial problems, are just a few examples of things out of our control. At this point, we must ask if the battle is worth the effort and will it matter a year from now. If it doesn’t matter then why bother. Do not start with the guessing games of “what if” and “woulda coulda shoulda”. These questions will not change anything. And then we need to accept reality and be flexible enough to move forward. “An inability to regulate emotions is, according to Gross and his collaborator Hooria Jazaieri (Clinical Psychological Science.2014), at the root of psychological disorders such as depression and borderline personality disorder.” Uncontrol emotions can cause ulcers, heart problems, and many other ailments. Proverbs tells us a joyful heart is a good medicine. Your mental and emotional health is as important as your physical health. Galatians 5:16 states, “walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit and the desires of the Sprit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.” In other words, know your emotions and follow the positive not the negative. Philippians 4:6 reminds us “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
What is wrong with me? Emotions and Attitudes.
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