Have you ever looked at one of your friends, family member, co-worker, or just someone on the street and wonder what are they truly about, what are they thinking, are they for real, and most importantly are they being honest? Most everyone has had these thoughts and never really waited for an answer. Then we must look at ourselves and ask the same set of questions and this is where we generally start getting nervous and close the conversation. No one likes to look to close at our strengths and weaknesses. But we all have them and how we handle the weaknesses and how we use the strengths determines how we function and how we succeed. These strengths and weaknesses are called temperaments and are God-given. Everyone has their unique temperaments and we all struggle with how we use these temperaments.
Try to imagine your whole person as an iceberg. Everything that we want people to see is above the surface and freely shared. Those emotions that we want hidden, the anger we have from some past events, the shame we have from a bad decision, the ego that we cannot control, the secret desire we cannot allow being known, the lust and hate within us, and a multitude of things that we feel will damage our reputation and how people feel about us are below the surface. 
Now try to be honest and determine how much of your iceberg is visible and how much is hidden. Most everyone will probably be shocked that their iceberg is mostly under the surface. How do we allow ourselves to bring more to the surface and let some of the below surface items melt away?
A person can seek help from family, friends, professional, church officials, and the library and bookstores are full of self-help books. Everyone seems to have their own idea of what works best. Truth is everyone is different but the old saying, “that the more different we are the more we are the same” is still true today just like the old days. Most will agree that talking to friends and family will help in many cases. But sometimes we don’t want to share these enter most secrets with family. The problem with friends and family is they get their feelings hurt, they are opinionated, not professional, and have an agenda of their own. Being a Christian Counselor I always suggest using a Christian Counselor to help solve issues and stave off future incidence of doubt and negative emotions. Their training and education allow them to give strong and sincere help. Proverbs 15:22 states, “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers, they succeed.” I sincerely hope that everyone has a Pastor or Church Staff person that they can trust and confide in. Your Pastor and the Staff have many duties and parishioners that they are responsible for. You may have to be patient, but their advice will be sincere.
Regardless of which source of help you seek to improve your situation, I would strongly suggest that you incorporate prayer into your efforts. The secular neighbor has come around and now agrees that prayer works. Zoe Blarowski (March 28, 2018) in Care2 blog states, “Science may never prove whether or not our prayers are truly answered by a higher power, but research does show that prayer significantly benefits our emotional, physical and mental health. Whereas, prayer, meditation, or other spiritual practices that maintain a focus outside of yourself have the most benefits.” This change in the secular community is recent because they did not accept prayer without scientific proof. The Church has always told us that prayer was essential for a balanced life. If you understand that prayer is just a conversation between you and God, then you realize that Genesis 3:8-13 is the first prayer at the beginning of the Bible. Prayer in one form or another is mention over 600 times to help show it importance. Everyone has room for improvement and most of us have issues that need attention. Knowing your unique temperaments will help you improve all aspect of your life. Life is short, and we need to live each day completely and in a Christian way. I for one plan on asking my friends, family, and Pastor, for help. I also plan on doing a lot of praying.