Patience or Lack Thereof

Of all the possible short comings men can share, it seems that patience is universally in short supply.  Men tend to want things when they need them and have a great desire for instant gratification.  This lack of patience and men’s proclivity to talk when they should be listening usually ends up with men being in a problem.  Granted some men have a better control than other but we all have issues at some time or another.  Romans 8:25 states, “But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” And then Romans 12:12 tells us to, “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” 

Vocabulary.com has a simple definition of patience. “Patience is a person’s ability to wait something out or endure something tedious, without getting riled up. … Having patience means you can remain calm, even when you’ve been waiting forever or dealing with something painstakingly slow or trying to teach someone how to do something and they just don’t get it.” “The root of patience is the Latin ‘pati’ meaning ‘suffering.’ Patience is the ability to endure adversity, discomfort, stress and even pain. In any life, if you want to do something challenging, you will face stress and adversity. What goes on in you when you’re impatient? When you’re impatient, you might feel you can’t wait for something to happen or something to end. You feel a contradiction between what you are looking at and what you want or imagine should be true. You are uncomfortable or dissatisfied with the now. But the impatience is not just about the contradiction. It is about feeling that if it isn’t true now, it might never be true. And you don’t like it.” (Rabois, 2019)

When most men find themselves having an impatient moment they become, upset, become angry, feel stress, and have difficulty trying to tolerate the situation.  It is easy to see why impatience can end badly if not controlled. Men are under pressure more today than ever before and move from one crisis to another. Life moves very fast and usually out of our control.  It is very easy and understandable for men to become frustrated at every turn. Frustration is as dangerous to a man as having no patience. “To frustrate means to obstruct or make ineffectual. Frustration is a feeling of agitation and intolerance triggered when your needs aren’t met; it’s tied to an inability to delay gratification. At our own risk, we’ve become too used to immediate results. Emails zip across the globe in seconds. Parents text messages to their kids to come in for dinner instead of yelling from a front porch……. Without patience, you turn into your own worst taskmaster. You treat spouses and friends as disposable instead of devoting the necessary time to nurture love. But with patience, you’re able to step back and regroup instead of aggressively reacting or hastily giving up on someone who’s frustrating you. You’re able to invest meaningful time in a relationship without giving up or giving in. In fact, patience gives you the liberating breath you’ve always longed to take.” (Orloff, 2012)  Proverbs 14:29 reminds us, “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.”  When we find ourselves allowing impatience to rule our actions, we make poor decisions and tend to make those around us uncomfortable, have hurt feelings, and probably angry. Impatience tends to spiral out of control and if not control it can cause many problems.  Patience allows both parties to have time to consider all avenues to make sound choices, and allows their self-esteem to go undamaged.  Being patience allows a person to relax, avoid anxiety, and keep a clear mind while making decisions about issues that have been presented.  Being patient has been described as being compassionate to yourself and to the others involved. Being patient allows a person to avoid being upset, experiencing upset stomach, enduring headaches, and disturbed and possibly damaging relationships. Control your emotions and being patience will lead to a state of equanimity. Equanimity is being able to stay mentally calm, keeping your composure, controlling your temper especially while in a difficult situation. Romans 12:2 states, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

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