How much of our time is spent worrying about stuff that we have no control over and that is probably none of our business. We are told in Matthews 6:34 not to be anxious about tomorrow because there is enough to keep us busy today. Everyone has many things to think about and be responsible for each day. How often have you wondered if your peace of mind and serenity would ever be satisfied? Is it not peculiar that we have trouble solving our daily problems. Still, we can always know what everyone else should do to solve their problems. The contradictions and complexities of life appear to be so much simpler when they belong to someone else. But when someone interjects themselves into our business, we think of them as mettlesome and aggravating. How often have you said or felt something like “If that were my child, I would do so and so” or “If I was him/her, I would not put up with that foolishness”? How many times do we allow ourselves to become frustrated or annoyed by the actions or lack of action of others? More importantly, how often do we realize that it is probably none of our business but let it affect us anyway. Philippians 4:6-7 reminds us to not be anxious about anything and to pray and give thanks for everything. But we still include ourselves in others’ business.
“Helping others with their problems is very good and normal to do as a human being. We are encouraged to do so by the system in our brains. In psychology, it is called prosocial behavior. It is the drive in our nature that makes us want to help others. One aspect that motivates us to help would be seeing a greater commonality with someone.” (Raisa, 2018) It is normal and healthy to want to help others and be concerned with their well-being. Philippians 2:4 and Hebrews 13:16 tells us to be interested in others and willing to sacrifice for others. The question becomes where does a person’s genuine desire to help and a valid concern for the person end, and where does it become meddling and acting like a busybody?
Proverbs 26:17 is very plain and to the point, saying, “whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears.” Which means they will probably get bit if they are not very careful. First Thessalonians 4:11 suggest that we should aspire to live quietly, minding our own business and working with our hands. If we are busy with our work and not voicing our opinion, we will remain safe from turmoil. People often want to be involved in someone’s business other than their own because they are bored, unsatisfied, or unhappy with their own lives. Being involved somewhere they don’t belong allows them to forget their situations. But there are times when we need to become involved, no matter how uncomfortable it is to help others. Every child wishes their parents would mind their own business even if they know the parents are trying to help them avoid problems and heartaches. Many subordinate coworkers resent being told what to do by the more experienced workers. James 3:13 instructs the wise and understanding to share knowledge and wisdom with the meek and those who do not know. Proverbs has several references on how to give and take involvement in someone’s business and react to someone being in your business. Proverbs 11:2 wants us to be humble to another’s wisdom and avoid pride and disgrace. Proverbs 13:10 suggest that we accept another’s wisdom to avoid strife. Proverbs 16:16 tells us that another’s wisdom and understanding are better than gold or silver. And Proverbs 19:8 advises us that whoever accepts advice and understanding will discover good. It is up to us to know when the attention is with good intent and when it is meddling. We will be tempted to look at other people with questions and forget to look at ourselves to see what has motivated us. Second Corinthians 9:7 states, “each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” Meddling with good intentions and with love is a good thing. Meddling to make someone think like you or for a purpose other than what is right may not be a good thing.
“Minding your own business goes far beyond simply avoiding the temptation to try to solve other people’s problems. It also includes eavesdropping, gossiping, talking behind other people’s backs, and analyzing or trying to figure out other people. One of the major reasons most of us focus on the shortcomings or problems of others is to avoid looking at ourselves.” (Carlson, 1997)
How do we get from involving ourselves in other people’s business, and how do we keep others from being in our business? This is another thing that is easier said than done, but it can be achieved. I borrowed some ideas from Francis Manlo and applied biblical references to help explain each step to avoid meddling. Proverbs 13:16 suggest, “Every prudent man acts with knowledge, but a fool flaunts his folly. So, we should always think before we act. James 4:7 tells us to” Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” We must keep our thoughts to ourselves. First Timothy 5:13 tells us that meddling is learned, “they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers but also gossips and busybodies. So, we should not be meddlers.James 1:19 reads, “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” This means we should all be sensitive to each other’s emotions. First Corinthians 13:4 reminds us, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant.” We should respect boundaries. Proverbs 16:28 warns, “A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.” We should stay away from gossip.Proverbs 16:9 “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” We should know when and if we should intervene.Philippians 4:13 promises that we “can do all things through him who strengthens me.” We should work on self-improvement and avoid what we think of others or ourselves. Psalm 51:10 states,” Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” If we keep ourselves occupied, we will not have time to worry about others. “Privacy is crucial to most, if not all, people. We value personal space and get offended when others, unless given permission, intrude into our private affairs. In most circumstances, meddling in other people’s lives is a sign of disrespect. If you’re one of those people doing this constantly, consider following these ways to help break the habit. We should always give due respect to other people’s privacy and choices. Their lives are theirs to live, and we should not compel them to live their lives the way we want them to. You can express your concern and give your thoughts, but you should always have respect and know the limits.” (Manalo, 2022)
Carlson, R. (1997). Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. New York, New York: Hyperion.
Manalo, F. A. (2022, 4 28). Inspiring Tips. Retrieved from 10 Ways to Stop Meddling in Other Peoples Lives: https://inspiringtips.com/ways-to-stop-meddling-in-other-peoples-lives/
Raisa, K. (2018, 12 14). The (Out) Spoken. Retrieved from Minding Others Business: Nosey or Caring: https://medium.com/the-spoken/minding-other-peoples-business-nosy-or-caring-4a45106ff050#:~:text=Helping%20others’%20with%20their%20problems,us%20want%20to%20help%20others.