Have you ever wondered why society looks at men differently than women? We have to act differently, think differently, and perform differently. “There are four basic rules of manhood: no sissy stuff—there must be a relentless repudiation of femininity; be a big wheel—bring home the bacon; be a sturdy oak—be reliable in a crisis; give ’em heck’—take risks and do what has to be done. Man’s connection to his past drives his longing to be a small part of the tradition of manhood.” (Mendoza, 2013) Men are told they should be tough, they should be kind, they should be the breadwinner, and the list goes on and on. Men are not supposed to cry or show emotions, and a huge list of items is not allowed for men. Many times, when we have given all we have to offer. We are fatigued, our thoughts are confused, and our energy and enthusiasm are gone. At this point, we are weak; we may think that God is upset with us or even that He has abandoned us. Nothing could be further from the truth. God will not leave us and will be there when we are in need. Jeremiah 29 tells us God knows his plans for each of us.
So, what can men do to best prepare themselves for a life that will be approved? There is a never-ending list of things a man should do and things they should avoid. Our family teaches cultural morals, the school teaches societal norms, and the Boy Scouts and the military teach a code of honor and respect. It is up to each individual to choose the path for their lives; good or bad choices will determine their success. Mark 16 describes the outcome of these decisions, stating that those who believe will be saved and those who do not will be condemned.
A man should know what he wants to accomplish and have a purpose. Proverbs 16:4 suggests, “The Lord has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble.” It is always good to love your family, never lend money to your family, and never cheat on your wife or family. Your family is the foundation that makes you what you are. If the family truly needs something, you should give it to them, not make them a borrower. Galatians 6 reminds us to not mock God and that whatever you sow, you will reap. It explains that living in the spirit will bring good or evil into that same spirit.
Men are told not to participate in gossip. They are not to put others down and be cruel. Real men do not brag, take selfies, and spend too much time in front of the mirror. A man should be able to fight and know when to fight and when to walk away. We should never be intimidated by anyone, and we should never intentionally try to intimidate anyone. Try to keep everything simple and not complicated. Romans 12:9-13 describes these attributes, stating, “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal; be fervent in spirit, and serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.”
If you have to talk to someone you don’t want to, make a polite excuse and leave. Try to keep it private no matter how mad you may be at your family or friends. Put more effort into comforting people than trying to impress them. Never talk about religion or politics with anyone. Be yourself, and do not follow others. Always look for ways to show kindness, let women and children go first, or give your seat to an old lady or pregnant girl. Titus 2 instructs us to teach sound doctrine. Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, and sound in faith, love, and steadfastness. All these characteristics are to honor oneself and God.
It is essential to be honest with ourselves, and then we can indeed be honest with those around us. Talk to people and avoid texting, email, the phone, and computers when possible. Always look appropriate wherever you go out because you never know who you might meet. Always try to learn new things, know how to fix simple things around the house, and try to relax and enjoy every activity. Proverbs 11:3 states, “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them.”
In today’s world, there is an opinion for just about everything. A man must be very cautious in what information he follows. Common sense is a rare commodity in short supply. It would probably be safe to suggest that men should read to keep their minds fresh. Occasionally, for no reason, buy your mother and wife flowers. Budget your money and be realistic in your wants and desires. Take pride in your appearance, but don’t be prideful. Do not waste; be willing to share what you have, especially with those in need. Remember to treat others well and take care of one’s self. Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”
Mendoza, G. (2013, 8 4). The Dartmouth Review. Retrieved from Reviewing Masculinity: https://dartreview.com/reviewing-masculinity/#:~:text=There%20are%20four%20basic%20rules,what%20has%20to%20be%20done.