Research has shown that between 80 and 90% of people in America and around the world suffer from low self-esteem. It is not unusual for people to ignore self-esteem questions, thinking they are alone. Just because someone has money, fame, and a following does not guarantee they feel comfortable and at ease with themselves. “One source says of this worldwide malady, ‘Low self-esteem is a thinking disorder in which an individual views him/herself as inadequate, unlovable, and/or incompetent.’ We all see low self-esteem in our counseling at Grace Life International, regardless of whether it is male, female, single, married, teen, or adult. As Christians, many of us often believe most of our Christian friends have it all together, and we don’t. So, we conclude that we simply aren’t as good as other people, not in a moral sense, but in the realm of lovability. That is what it all kind of comes down to. Do we believe in our hearts that we are lovable?” (Maudling, 2014) If you are human, you will have issues with self-esteem. Self-esteem is what we consciously and unconsciously think of ourselves. This thinking plays a role in everything we do. A strong and vigorous self-esteem helps individuals make good choices, build confidence, and encourage success. This self-assessment gives a person the courage to be themselves, is absolutely necessary to build good relationships, and allows them to accept and handle difficult situations. Low self-esteem will negatively harm your mental health and those around you. Getting fixated on low self-esteem will hurt your appearance, attitude, physical health, mental health, and future. Often, a person can create a real problem with self-esteem and ego. Good self-esteem allows a person to operate confidently and with the knowledge that they have earned their position. Poor self-esteem will depend on their ego to compensate for their poor opinion of themselves. Ego is not based on the knowledge they have acquired and will deter any attention to the self.
“Many are guilty of buying into the common misconception that ego and confidence are essentially the same things. They equate both with a brazen attitude that’s seemingly unflappable under pressure. It’s even been said that taking on such an attitude at work will get you ahead in your career. The reality, however, is that these two concepts are quite different. To have confidence is to have faith in your abilities and believe in yourself, but the ego is something else entirely. Unlike confidence, the ego operates out of self-interest. It seeks approval, accolades, and validation at all costs to be seen as “right.” It is resistant to feedback and assigns motive where there isn’t any.” (Wakeman, 2015)
Romans 12:3 reminds us, “For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according to as God hath dealt with every man the measure of faith.”
Charles Haddon Spurgeon was an English Particular Baptist preacher in the 1800s. Mr. Spurgeon is credited to have said, “If a soul has any beauty, it is because Christ has endowed that soul with His own, for in ourselves we are deformed and defiled! There is no beauty in any of us but what our Lord has worked in us.”
“Today, we are often led to believe that we all have “beauty within us” and that if we could only learn to love ourselves “just the way we are,” we would be confident and happy. But the reality is, as Spurgeon so straightforwardly put it, we do not actually possess any beauty or goodness of our own accord. (See Psalm 14:3; 53:3.) The only beauty or merit we can ever have is Jesus Christ’s. And His loveliness will only come shining through our lives when self has gotten out of the way. As John the Baptist declared, “I must decrease, but He must increase” (John. 3:30). Rather than trying to build up our self-esteem and “feel good about ourselves” (which doesn’t produce lasting confidence anyway), we are to let thoughts of self-fade completely into the background. Remember that to “deny ourselves” according to the biblical pattern literally means to lose sight of ourselves and our interests. We will only gain lasting security when we look away from ourselves and toward Jesus Christ. The question ‘who am I?’ is not nearly as important as the question, “who is He?’ “ (Ludy, n.d.)
How can we look at ourselves and not be optimistic? It is a result of our free will that we think of anything negative. Genesis 1:27 tells us, “So God created man in his image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” Ethel Waters, an American singer and actress, is credited for telling us, “I am somebody cause God don’t make no junk”
“If self-esteem isn’t focused upon Christ, then it is a lie; it’s idolatry, the worship of self. The Bible directs us away from the narcissistic tendencies of our sinful nature. Paul says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3). We should be focused on the Lord and the needs of others to the point where we begin to forget about ourselves. Here is one of my favorite quotes from C. S. Lewis: “The real test of being in the presence of God is that you either forget about yourself altogether or see yourself as a small, dirty object. It is better to forget about yourself altogether…” He goes on later to say that a truly humble person is not always thinking lowly thoughts about himself; it is the person who doesn’t think about himself at all. Our goal in life isn’t self-esteem – it is Christ-esteem!” (Keihl, 2020)
This is one more occasion where we are reminded that we are not the answer. Flexing our muscles and proclaiming to be a man only shows our ignorance and lack of respect for the circumstances. Once we give it all to God, we can relax and enjoy the new Christ-esteem, which will boost our human self-esteem. Paul talks about being in Christ-esteem in Galatians 2:20 by stating, “I have been crucified with Christ. No longer I live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Every day we evaluate ourselves, what we did do good, what our failures were, did we look good, were successful, and probably made the mistake of worrying about what others thought of us. Without having Christ’s esteem, we probably will never satisfy our worries. Christ-esteem builds self-esteem, and self-esteem is a way of thinking, feeling, and acting that implies that you accept, respect, trust, and believe in yourself. … Having good self-esteem allows you to accept yourself and live life to the fullest.
Keihl, D. (2020, 9 9). Oakwood Presbyterian Church. Retrieved from Self-esteem vs. Christ Esteem: http://www.oakwoodpca.org/our-blog/self-esteem-vs-christ-esteem/
Ludy, L. (n.d.). setapartgirl. Retrieved from Self-Esteem vs. Christ-Esteem: https://setapartgirl.com/self-esteem-vs-christ-esteem/
Maudling, M. (2014). Gracelife International. Retrieved from How Christ Esteem Can Replace Your Low Self-esteem: https://www.gracelifeinternational.com/how-christ-esteem-can-replace-your-low-self-esteem
Wakeman, C. (2015, 11 23). Forbes. Retrieved from Confidence vs. Ego: The Difference Between Success and Sef Sabotage: https://www.forbes.com/sites/cywakeman/2015/11/23/confidence-vs-ego-the-difference-between-success-and-self-sabotage/?sh=4c76f8696d6a