Blame, Responsibility, and Communications

Recently I attended a meeting where new management was visiting with several Department Heads, Staff, and employees for the very first time and the new COO took the opportunity to tell everyone their shortcomings and that their past performance was not going to be tolerated any longer before even learning their names. This new COO then identified individuals in the group by their department and continued to berate the condition of their performance in front of the employees, staff, and other department heads. Everyone in the room looked at each other in shock and was trying to figure out what this out of control person was talking about. Just prior to this person showing up the management had gone over everyone performance reports, discussed necessary changes, and prepared everyone for the necessary changes that were scheduled to take place and left everyone with a positive outlook. The picture the COO was painting was not even remotely akin to reality.
Long story short this COO had received poor information, was ill-prepared and did not know the people being addressed. The COO did not know anyone’s job descriptions and just assumed that this business ran like the one they had just come from. The COO began demanding individuals to take on and perform duties that they were not trained for and that would cause the company great harm if the proper authorities were to get involved. The Department Heads, Staff, and employees were suddenly faced with multiple tasks that they were ill prepared for. Making bad choices and following wrong decisions could get the individual fired, brought up on ethics charges, revoke their licenses, and ruin their otherwise good reputations.
Some of the group went to their office and packed their personal belongings and left the building. Some of the group realized what was happening and took responsibility for their areas and started attempting to educate the new management. Other decided to “Blame” other people, blame circumstances, and shield themselves from the COO.
The COO was an angry person and was not listening to anyone’s explanation which caused the problems to get worse. Michael Formica in Psychology Today May 2010 suggests that “when someone becomes angry, rather than respond with, ‘Oh, that person is angry.’, we are more likely to respond with “Oh, that person is angry at/with me.’ Just so, rather than responding with “Oh, that person is angry, and I should hold space for that’, we are more likely to respond with, ‘Oh, that person is angry, and it must be me doing something wrong’. “In the meeting above, everyone assumed that the COO was mad or upset at them, when in fact the COO didn’t really know the cause of the anger. Peter Bregman of Bregman Partners wrote in the Harvard Business Review that “we start blaming others at an early age, usually to escape parental anger and punishment, but also to preserve our own self-esteem and self-image.” Bregman goes on to say that “blaming a department or a product feels safer than blaming a person since it appears less personal, can pass as an attempt at organizational improvement. But it is counter-productive as the transparency of culpability betrays its disguise.” Blaming people destroys relationships, ruins trust, causes a loss of respect and kills morale. Especially when the accusation is false, unfounded, or out of the control of those being blamed. Hiring a new HR person and blaming them for poor performing employees hired years before they came on board will absolutely serve no purpose. The COO using incorrect information, lacking an understanding of the process, and not knowing the people involved is a certain plan for failure. Everyone can see through this dishonest effort to intimidate or “bully” the subordinates in this company. Unfortunately, some persons in authority that lack confidence or knowledge of their position will try to intimidate to control those that know more or are better prepared to exercise the job. This usually ends up with the upper management running the operation with the COO/CEO taking credit, being steered out of the way, and not having a clue as to what is happening.
When confronted with a situation like this it is very important that we try to establish where the anger is coming from. Asking questions like “is this something that I did or didn’t do”, ‘am I the target of the rage or a bystander”, “is there anything I can do to make this better immediately?” If the answer to these question is “no” then we need not take ownership and allow the COO’s problem to become our problem. If the answer to these questions is ‘yes” we should immediately take responsibility and be accountable which foster better communications and move toward a solution quicker. Either way, the situation will only become worse as everyone loses their temper and allow their anger to run unchecked. So how do we successfully handle a COO or “Boss” like this? Lynn Taylor, author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant; How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job. Tells us “It’s bothersome because you feel you can’t ignite confrontation and ask for reasonable expectations. You may fear retaliation, passive-aggressive fallout, loss of job status or exciting projects, or even being terminated, which is a conundrum until you muster the ability to face the problem head-on.” Taylor goes on to tell us that ‘if you don’t learn how to manage up with a demanding boss, you will suffer the consequences of never feeling that your work is satisfactory. ‘The quality and quantity of your deliverables will decline, and so will your self-esteem,’ she says. ‘You must learn how to bravely and clearly communicate the details of your assignments so that your boss is more aware. You cannot assume that your boss understands the hours associated with assignments. These bosses must be made aware of the importance of priorities and your human limits. Most importantly, you must take the initiative in creating mutually agreeable expectations’.”
Holding some accountable is not the same as blaming someone. Taking responsibility and accepting blame shows character if it truly belongs to that person, however taking on responsibility and blame that truly belongs to another will eventually cause hard feelings, anger, and ruin relationships. Construction, real estate, retail, and all businesses in general, rely on good communications, honest management, fair and equitable treatment of the workers, and respect from all levels of the organization.