We live in a world today that allows us to see misbehavior and rebellious behavior on television and newscasts daily. Many times, we wonder where are the parents of these children and how have they been allowed to become depraved and fall into such debauchery. It seems the obscener and sicker the better the news media likes it. It is as if they are actively supporting the perversion. There was a time when men running up and down the street dressed only in an athletic supporter kissing another man would have been met with an angry crowd and ended in arrest. But today the news media proudly displays this sickness and promote the behavior requiring it to be witnessed in every living room in America. The news media has been selling trash and morbidity for many years and the American public has always allowed it to get their attention. In early 1898, William Randolph Hearst needed more readership for his newspaper, the New York Morning Journal. Hearst is credited to have said “If it bleeds, it leads. No matter whose blood it is.” Our media sources have been going downhill ever since. The era of the journalist has died a slow death for many years. We now have several media sources that are in the news-making business rather than the news reporting business. Second Timothy 3:1-5 warns, “But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.”
It is easy for us to become confused and try to ignore problems close to home with the world spinning out of control around us. It is so much easier to allow everyone and everything to just do their own thing and try to stay out of their way. But at what point do we accept our responsibilities and try to guide and teach our friends, associates, and family members the correct way to behave and act. It is easy for us to judge others and to see their ways as being wrong and unjust. But who are we to push our thoughts and beliefs on someone else? But then you have to also ask if it is fair for you to carry the heavy burden of a friend or family member’s bad or toxic behavior. Your emotional well-being and many times your physical well-being is being destroyed by the toxic relationship you have with others. These negative, harmful, and toxic individuals will affect your spouse and children. There really is no escaping these sad and destructive individuals. Everyone hates to end relationships but to protect yourself and your family it many times become necessary to remove yourself from the toxic person or persons. There is absolutely no good reason to continue an abusive relationship. Jesus gives great advice in Matthew 10:25 when he tells the disciples, “But when they persecute you in this city, flee ye into another.” The Bible tells us to remove ourselves from relationships that are not healthy. First Corinthians 15:33, Proverbs 13:20, Psalm 1:1, Proverbs 6:27, and many other tells us to move away, shun, and purge destructive relationships. Removing ourselves from bad relationships includes toxic relationships with parents, siblings, and children. We have been warned in First Corinthians 15:33 tells us, “Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals.” We are warned in Ephesians 6:4 to not provoke our children and to try to discipline and instruct them in the ways of the Lord. But there are times that our children will stray and be out of our control. It seems that many people follow a similar path. The parents keep the children engaged in family, school, and church. But at some point, the child matures to the point that they must ignore the teaching of the family and go off on their own to experiment and test the world. This is a critical time that may last a short time or end up being a lifestyle. James 4:4 states,
“You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore, whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” We look at wayward individuals and wonder what their parents did to cause such bad behavior. As parents, we always ask what could we have done differently to cause a different outcome for our children. The book of Proverbs goes into great detail about raising children and Deuteronomy instructs us to honor our fathers and mothers. With the many references from the Bible and the best efforts of the parents’ children still often become wrecks. Luke 15:13-17 tells us the parable about the wayward son, “Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. So, he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything. But when he came to himself, he said, how many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger!” This parable is an excellent example of how it becomes the child’s responsibility to make the appropriate decision to change. Parents, family, and friends can try to influence the wayward individual but the final decision has to be that of the individual. We should not blame the parent for a grown child’s behavior because once a child leaves the home, they become the person making their own decisions, good or bad, out of the control of the parent. It is easy to blame ourselves for the behavior of our family members, but we should first realistically determine if our past actions influenced today’s circumstances. Only accept responsibilities that truly belong to you and then make efforts to correct the errors.
How can we make things better when we are not necessarily in control? As in every situation, the first thing is to pray for help for all that are involved. Many times, people will be too close to the problem to realize that there is a problem and will take offense if confronted. We can act as good examples and help guide those involved. We should encourage the wayward individual and promote good behavior. Sometimes a kind word from someone not directly involved will carry influence that the same words from a family member would be taken as offensive. If we are the parent of a wayward child, it would be important for us to ask God for forgiveness. We may or may not be responsible and we may have no clue as to our shortcomings but having God helping us carry the load will certainly make life easier. It never hurts to be humble and to confess our shortcomings. As parents, we have probably made many mistakes and we should be willing to share our experiences with other parents to help them. It feels good to share and to teach by giving a testimonial that helps others. There is no manual, textbook, or lecture that teaches true parenting. Every parent sets out to do their very best but it rarely ends the ways that they want. “Most importantly, we need to pray (1 Th. 5:17). Pray to believe! Pray to expect! Pray that the Lord restores those who are wayward. Pray for those who may have driven them away. Ask the Lord to bring them closer to Himself for His glory and their blessing. “He restores my soul; he leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake” (Ps. 23:3).” (Blok, n.d.)
Depending on the day of the week and our particular attitude we have good days and bad days. It is important to be able to feel good about ourselves and to allow God to guide us through our trials and tribulations. In Revelation chapter 3 Jesus reminds us that the Lord does not ask a lot from man, just a “little strength” and faith. We do not have to be perfect but do need to give love to each other. Revelation 3:2-3 states, “Be watchful, and strengthen the things which remain, that are ready to die, for I have not found your works perfect before God. Remember therefore how you hast received and heard; hold fast and repent”
Blok, H. (n.d.). Trinitarian. Retrieved from Wayward Children: https://tafj.org/2012/11/05/wayward-children-part-3-parental-responsibility/