At some point, we have all experienced loneliness and felt the pain that goes along with it. We have all asked what can be done about the feelings that are caused by loneliness. We have looked around and seen a room full of people and still felt alone. “When we feel lonely, we naturally want to surround ourselves with other people. … That’s because being in the same room isn’t the same as feeling connected. In fact, sometimes being surrounded by strangers or people you’re just not very close to can just make you feel more alone.” (Stall, 2018) Being the new kid in class, starting a new job, having trouble in a relationship all can cause a feeling of being isolated. We need to remember that Psalm 73:23 states, “Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand.”
“Loneliness causes people to feel empty, alone, and unwanted. People who are lonely often crave human contact, but their state of mind makes it more difficult to form connections with other people.” (Cherry, 2020) We have all felt like we were in a rut. Depending on circumstances and attitude these feelings are long-term or short-lived. “Long term feelings of loneliness and social isolation can also reduce cognitive skills, such as the ability to concentrate, make decisions, problem-solve, and even change negative self-beliefs. And it can ultimately lead to depression.” (Article, 2019) This could be one of the many reasons older people suffer when left alone for long periods. The elderly confined to nursing homes and care facilities have not been allowed to have contact with their families during this COVID nonsense. “If you take a healthy person with no history of mental health disorders and put them under great stress, their cortisol levels (the stress hormone) would be astronomical, affecting their ability to psychologically interpret stimuli. (Diab, 2016) During times of stress and having your mental health under attack we should try to remember that Philippians 4:11-13 tells us to, “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance, and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Learning to be content and satisfied helps us to appreciate the different circumstances we may experience. Being thankful and remembering our many blessings will carry us through many hard times. “According to research carried out at the University of Chicago, the feeling of loneliness triggers what psychologists call hypervigilance for social threat — feeling socially isolated which then leads to increased surveillance of the social world and an unconscious focus on self-preservation.” (Oppong, 2019) This is probably why your family and friends think you are losing your mind when they finally get to visit with you. This just compounds the problem. No one wants to be around a crazy person. In other surveys, “some 40 percent of people know the pain of being lonely in a relationship because they’ve been there at some point. Although no two happy marriages are identical, every lonely marriage has one thing in common: at least one spouse feels abandoned emotionally.” (Bruess, 2020) This includes relationships other than marriages so no one escapes these feelings.
“New research is upending much of what we’ve long taken for granted about loneliness. More than just a mopey, Charlie Brown–eques mindset, loneliness causes serious hurt, acting on the same parts of the brain as physical pain. And while past research has treated loneliness as a synonym for social isolation, recent studies are revealing that the subjective feeling of loneliness—the internal experience of disconnection or rejection—is at the heart of the problem. More of us than ever before are feeling its sting, whether we’re young or old, married or single, urban-dwelling, or living in remote mountain villages. (In fact, some remote mountain villagers are much less likely to be lonely, as we’ll see.) This is what makes loneliness so insidious: It hides in plain sight and, unlike smoking or obesity, isn’t typically ‘a sense of social connectedness serves as a scaffold for the self, damage the scaffold, and the rest begins to crumble.’ loneliness: the discrepancy between the patient’s actual and desired social relationships. Loneliness is a perceptual state that depends more on the quality of a person’s relationships than on their sheer number. People with few friends can feel fulfilled; people with vast social networks can feel empty and disconnected. What LeRoy and her colleagues found was that subjective loneliness was a far bigger risk factor than sheer social isolation. ‘It’s all about how the person feels,’ she says. ‘Feelings really matter.’” (Latson, 2018) We should all take stock of our feelings and ensure that we are not going down this dangerous road. Loneliness like depression and anxiety is a serious condition that needs to be addressed. Simply discussing the feelings with loved ones and/or friends can help remedy the stress that accompanies loneliness. We all must realize that loneliness is a medical condition and can become serious. “Research has linked social isolation and loneliness to higher risks for a variety of physical and mental conditions: high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, a weakened immune system, anxiety, depression, cognitive decline, Alzheimer’s disease, and even death.” (Portacolone, 2019) When we try to live alone and forget that God watches over our every move sickness and mental health issues can and will arise. It would benefit us all to remember Isaiah 41:10 that states, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Knowing that we face nothing alone keeps us from being caught up in all that accompanies loneliness.
One more thing to consider is how our surroundings and our bad habits contribute to our perceived loneliness. Are there outside forces making you feel that you are under attack, under pressure to perform, and causing you to shrink back into trying it alone. If you watch TV, listen to the radio, or visit the internet you are constantly being bombarded by stressful, hateful, and probably false information. Journalism is dead and all we receive now is propaganda designed to push your thinking one way or another. And it will be getting a lot worse in days to come. First John 4:1 warns us, “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.” This is especially true now that we have gone from three television stations broadcasting 126 hours a day to several hundred television stations broadcasting 24 hours a day seven days a week. I am not sure anyone knows how many radio stations are on the air at any given time espousing whatever nonsense their paying advertisers want the public to hear. Money drives the program content and the truth is the last thing they consider when preparing to go on air. “Television False Propaganda” is referenced in the Bible at least 60 times (https://www.openbible.info/topics /television_ false_ propaganda) Matthew 24:24 is one of the 60 referred to that eloquently states, “For false christs and false prophets will arise and perform great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the elect.” Please note that the word “christs” is intentional not capitalized. Remember the difference between “Man and man” and “Spirit and spirit.”
Excessive exposure to media coverage can lead to serious consequences. How? It activates the fight-or-flight stress response, leading to physiological arousal, and, over time, serious wear-and-tear on virtually all body systems. People who watched several hours of coverage in the days following the 9/11 attack were more likely to develop physical health problems two to three years later than those with less exposure. Social media is also a serious concern as overuse of social platforms can also have adverse effects on people’s perspectives and mental health. Such highly anxious individuals, on their return to social media, apparently show an increased tendency to engage in alcohol consumption when posting. This alcohol consumption will also increase anxieties and depression in the longer term. Such unhealthy behaviors have already been noted in heavy internet users, in addition to poor mental health, and these will promote poor physical health, which has been associated with heavy internet use. These negative effects on the individual will also cause more internet-use driving anxiety, and drinking will tend to produce unfortunate and inappropriate behaviors online. Accumulating data have shown that multiple factors converge and interact to shape the experience of loneliness. Evolution indeed plays a large role. Twin studies suggest that about 50% of variations in loneliness are explained by genetics. Personal attributes matter. For example, research has found a link between the personality trait of neuroticism and loneliness. Age appears to be a factor. Research suggests that loneliness tends to decrease in adulthood until around the age of 75 years old, after which it increases markedly. Older adults are more susceptible to loneliness in part because of decreased mobility and independence and the deaths and loss of friends and family members. (Martin, 2020) Loneliness is a serious situation and we cannot ignore it. 3 John 1:2 states, “Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.” We need to keep this in mind while we go through our daily routine knowing we are under attack. Be cautious and do not become lonely, your family, and friends are probably in the same circumstances. Also, be reminded that you are associated with a Church full of people that are looking for relationships and an opportunity to share and receive friendship. All this will combat loneliness. Jesus never leaves us and has an open invitation to visit his house. Philippians 4:6-7 asked that we, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” We can also take comfort from John 16:33 “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
Article. (2019, 3). Cigna. Retrieved from Signs and Symptons of Chronic Loneliness: https://www.cigna.com/individuals-families/health-wellness/chronic-loneliness
Bruess, C. (2020, 7 1). Ideas.Ted.Com. Retrieved from Are You Lonely in Your Partnership or Marriage: https://ideas.ted.com/are-you-lonely-in-your-partnership-or-marriage/
Cherry, K. (2020, 3 23). VeryWell MInd. Retrieved from The Health Consequences of Loneliness : https://www.verywellmind.com/loneliness-causes-effects-and-treatments-2795749
Diab, E. (2016, 4 11). Thrillist. Retrieved from What Isolation Does to Your Brain: https://www.thrillist.com/entertainment/nation/what-isolation-does-to-your-brain
Latson, J. (2018, 4 1). Psychology Today. Retrieved from Acure- Loneliness is a Problem of Epidemic Proportions etc. : https://static1.squarespace.com/static/59ca7af1ccc5c53642092a36/t/5b510e458a922de3d94be9cd/1532038727763/PT158_loneliness.pdf)
Martin, M. J. (2020, 4 20). Vividcomm. Retrieved from Is Social Media Fueling the Loneliness Epidemic: https://vividcomm.com/2020/04/20/is-social-media-fueling-the-loneliness-epidemic/
Oppong, T. (2019, 11 21). Personal Growth. Retrieved from The Psychology of Loneliness: https://medium.com/personal-growth/the-psychology-of-loneliness-and-what-you-can-do-about-it-4b113adfaed6
Portacolone, E. (2019, 4 219). National Institute of Aging. Retrieved from Social Isolation, Loneliness in Older People Pose Health Risks: https://www.nia.nih.gov/news/social-isolation-loneliness-older-people-pose-health-risks#:~:text=Research%20has%20linked%20social%20isolation,Alzheimer’s%20disease%2C%20and%20
Stall. (2018). Mental Health America. Retrieved from Feeling Alone in a Crowd: https://screening.mhanational.org/content/feeling-lonely-crowd