Coping with Issues

We have all argued with whether a change is good or if it is something we have to put up with. No one really likes change but it is a necessary part of life. Occasionally we are fortunate enough to have a change for the better or a change to the good.  But many time changes are given to us by some outside force and we just have to accept it. Change tends to turn everything upside down leaving us confused and upset and afraid of what will happen next.  Change makes us rethink our position, alters the way we do things, and causes us to take new paths.  But while all this is going on and our world is turning inside out one thing remains the same always. God is always there; God never changes or alters His course. God is one thing that is completely firm and never wavering.  And we should and must remember Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

When these changes are happening to us, we will need to cope with these circumstances. Sometimes changes occur to our surroundings and sometimes changes occur within us. Recognizing the type of changes will help us determine the course of action needed to successfully deal with the change. “Coping occurs in response to psychological stress—usually triggered by changes—in an effort to maintain mental health and emotional well-being. Life stressors are often described as negative events (the death of a loved one, loss of a job, divorce, etc.); however, positive changes in life (marriage, birth, moving, a new job, etc.) can also constitute life stressors, thus requiring the use of coping skills to adapt. Coping strategies are the behaviors, thoughts, and emotions that you use to adjust to the changes that occur in your life.” (Staff, n.d.)

How do you deal with stress or changes? Do you cope well and are you conflicted?  Have you ever had to confront someone?  Maybe you have had to endure a situation that was difficult. Have you had to grapple with a decision?  Maybe you found yourself wrestling with making a choice. There are several words and phrases that describe coping. Handle, suffer, deal, get by, make the grade, and get a handle on it, to name just a few. Coping is something we do every day. Some of us don’t even think about it while others struggle and are in constant conflict with the decision required to cope or deal with the problem or situation.  Many times, we are coping with issues and circumstances and we don’t even realize that we are active in coping. 

Why is having sound and proper coping skills important? “Coping patterns are important because they facilitate a person’s handling of a stressful experience,” Burns-Nader said. “If someone is going through a tough time, positive coping patterns provide extra resources that can help that person deal with the demand of a stressor.  Positive coping patterns increase hope and help one feel his stress could be manageable with support found in the coping patterns,” Burns-Nader said. (Research, 2013)  The Bible refers to coping or being able to cope many times.  Being able to be flexible, handle difficult situations, and to survive constant changes is part of a healthy life.  “Scripture has the ability to calm anxiety, relieve stress, give hope, create peace, validate hurt, encourage, guide, teach and speak truth into the days that I am overwhelmed with lies. It might be hard to believe that scripture is a coping skill, but I’m telling you, it works! I think because it is alive and straight from God it has the ability to speak directly to our hearts in the way we need.” (Mann, 2017)  Philippians 4:12-13 states, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”   John Ritenbaugh reminds us to, “Be aware, be warned, and be exhorted that, if we have any desire to overcome faults, if we sincerely desire to be in God’s Kingdom, if we desire to be like God and glorify Him, we need to protect our relationship with Him. He is the Source of the power to do all things, even to grow while also enduring these intense times. Paul is saying that he knows how to discipline himself and thus keep on track in every circumstance of life. By this time in Paul’s life, he had the skills required for making the best of every situation.  He is not suggesting that he did this alone through mere human discipline and skill that anybody can achieve, but that he was enabled because of his faithful relationship with Christ. The real dynamic is that Christ has the power, and it was He who faithfully enabled Paul. The apostle’s skills, which enabled him to accomplish things that pleased God, were spiritual.” (Ritenbaugh, n.d.)  Paul was a master in coping with problems and handling difficult situations.  While traveling to Damascus Saul/Paul ran into Jesus and this experience set Paul on an entirely new trajectory. He went from being someone that persecuted the newly formed Christians to someone that worked diligently for Jesus and the Christians. Paul devoted the rest of his life to Jesus and being a Christian.  Saul became Paul which took him from being a well-respected member of the Pharisees to a person of the street traveling and working for Jesus. Paul had to have exceptional coping skills to handle the changes in his personal life.  But Paul also took on the responsibilities of church planting and all the ups and down the new Christian experienced in the early days of the Church.  In Philippians 4:11-13 Paul describes some of his coping skills and how he is successful in dealing with his many problems and new responsibilities when he states,  I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”  Paul gave up being associated with the Pharisees a sacrifice to follow Jesus. During his life as Paul, he was flogged, beaten with rods, stoned, imprisoned, shipwrecked, near starvation, and tried.  But Paul always found a way to cope with every situation.  We should be so strong and have Paul’s coping skills.

“According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 40 million adults in the US are affected by anxiety, and millions more are afflicted depression-related disorders. Overall, they estimate 18% of all adults have some form of mental illness. And most of the rest of us have too much stress in our lives, especially during the prime productivity and child-rearing ages of 18-55. [1]  Some folks suffer for very specific reasons—perhaps because of a brain lesion, a genetic mutation, specific episodes of trauma, or an idiosyncratic chemical imbalance.  But many folks with diagnosable disorders simply suffer from more intense versions of the same things that almost everyone is suffering from. Some are just harder-hit than others because of their particular social circumstances, or because they are slightly more susceptible (a difference in degree, not in kind).” (Ph.d, 2017)  Stress, anxiety, and everyday issues affect everyone. Being able to cope is essential to maintaining both mental and physical health.  Everyone tries to cope differently. Some run track, some read, some meditate, and some read scripture. How you cope is not as important as know-how the best method cope is for you. “While dealing with stress, pain, and suffering is unavoidable in this life, being dragged down by these situations is not. Believe in your own ability to deal with stress, give a couple of these coping mechanisms a try, and see if you can turn a negative situation into an opportunity for positive growth.” (Ackerman, 2019)

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