Is Being Right Worth the Fight

Is it really that important that you have to be right? Is it absolutely necessary for you to have the last word? Would your life be ruined if you let someone else win occasionally? These are very important questions everyone has to answer if they are going to maintain a peaceful and satisfactory relationship with their family, friends, and co-workers. It is aggravating and disturbing to know your right and someone close is telling you that you are wrong. But if it is not life threatening or a matter that will alter history what difference does it really matter? The probable answer is it doesn’t matter to anyone but you.
Every day I see people disagreeing and being argumentative over matters that neither side of the argument really cares about. The information is not important but being right and being the winner is everything. Many otherwise good and strong relationships are not allowed to grow because of the constant bickering and petty attitudes. It is not your responsibility to correct everyone around you. This requires an immense amount of energy that could be used for other more positive pursues.
Recently I had the opportunity to work with a couple that wanted to work out some issues that seemed easy enough to the outside observer. But instead of trying to agree on the simplest things and working on the more difficult issues they both seemed intent on picking each other to pieces on every item. The back and forth of mediation soon became a weapon each party was attempting to use against each other and it became obvious that neither would allow the other to be right on any point of contention. It got to the point that they had completely forgotten their beginning argument and actually swapped positions. After a short break, I reiterated the original argument and showed them how their stubbornness had caused them to forget the original questions. They did not appreciate that I was making this observation but as long as we stayed on point and asked short answer questions we actually made progress.
Human nature makes us want to be the winner, to be right, and to come out on top in every situation. However, life is mostly giving and take and rarely is one person always right. You can maintain your position and be right without being obnoxious. You can make the person feel respected by listening to them even if you don’t agree with them. Every disagreement does not have to be an agreement. Many time agreeing to disagree is the best for everyone involved. And sometimes if this is a spouse or loved one just ignoring the argument and going on to new business will make for a peaceful existence. Being rude and hurting each other’s feeling will not accomplish anything.